It’s a match! Congratulations, now the real work begins. The clock to find a place to meet your hot date starts ticking the moment the splashy graphic disappears from your dating app screen.
Of all the places in the world to go on a first date–and there are many–a friendly coffee shop should rank at the top of your list. Think about it. An outrageously priced pumpkin spiced latte is just a fraction of a $20 cocktail that’s just 3 ounces of gin and a lime wedge. Coffee shops are everywhere, making a decent one convenient to all. And if the date goes horribly, you can be out in 30 minutes and $5 spent–you’ll live.
Coffee dates are the most successful, and that’s for however you define success. Think about it–a bustling place loaded with morning energy and caffeine; people in their best form before the day destroys their spirit. Don’t take our word for it. We interviewed and analyzed the feedback of over 10 recent coffee date attendees and used their experience to guide our perspective. You should hear what they have to say:
The most important thing is having a good time. Coffee dates are an approachable way to get to know someone without the pomp and formality of a bar. Step inside a cozy coffee shop–what do you see, hear, and smell? If it’s anywhere decent, you should notice a handful of tables, couches, and plush chairs. Take a seat and sink in. The audial aroma of the room becomes a little louder–chatter about someone’s dog and an order fill the air. Now breathe. Smell that? A delicious coffee scent hits the nostrils and gives your brain the subconscious signal that it’s time to wake up. A natural energy boost hits before the first cup. Now, you’re ready to finally meet this stranger from the internet.
You might find that you have a couple initial jitters talking to someone new, but those go away quickly here. The sensory stimulus, the caffeine, and the plush comfort give a relaxed confidence. If you’re on one long couch–even better. Angle yourself so your date only sees your better half (literally) and slowly inch closer as the conversation heats up. Ditch the small talk as quickly as you can. Your conversation should match your coffee: medium-dark. Take a sip, this is going well.
Sure, extravagant coffee drinks are a little pricey but do you know what’s worse? A $20 cocktail with hors d'oeuvres, whatever those are. You see, few people double down on their chai mocha spiced matcha venti latte with another one or two, but not at a bar. If a waiter notices you’re done with your cocktail their first instinct is to approach you and ask if you “would you like another one?” Quite the bind here. Say no, and start the end of the date only 15 minutes in OR say yes, buy yourself another 15-20 minutes, and fork over a small fortune for a drink you have at home. Did you know bar tabs often run over $100 a night. Who in their right mind spends over $100 at a coffee shop?
How about an outdoor date, you say? When have those gone well. A first date requires close contact and sustained conversation. Hard to do with the wind blowing, mosquitos biting, and the off chance a homeless guy begs you for change–and now you’re back to paying money…
We get it: no one’s talking to just one person at a time. You could’ve gotten 10 matches yesterday, 5 the day before, and the dude from last Wednesday won’t stop messaging you. There’s a lot of fish in the sea and a whole bunch of ‘em are probably wondering why you’re ghosting them right now. In the era of massive choice, dates that involve significant time or financial commitments just don’t scale. Imagine spending 3 hours and $200 just to be ghosted later…if that’s happened to you, my sincerest condolences.
Coffee dates are quick and designed to scale. Need to evaluate 3 dudes for an upcoming +1 wedding invite? No problem. Give them 1 hour time slots and compare notes at the end. If you’re really in a rush you can probably average 30 minutes per date–and he’ll still think it went well!
Getting to know a stranger from the internet is tough and everyone’s goals aren’t the same. No need to meet at a coffee shop with someone you’re paying by the hour. But…a good coffee date rises to the top like sweet cream. So well, in fact, that 38% of individuals interviewed said that they had an ever better second date that evening and then something about “you know what I mean?” with a wink. Do you know what they mean?